Family may be the building block of society. However, “family” and “marriage” are not necessarily the same thing. Living in a free society, families are constructed from what we have or are given. True “traditional marriage” is a rarity. As people are divorced and remarried, we encounter terminology such as “biologic parent,” “adoptive parent,” “step-parent,” and we have step-brothers/sisters, half-brothers/sisters, and first, second, and third marriages. And there is a whole raft of legal issues which then enter into the picture in the way of wills, estates, guardianships, parental rights, taxation, dependents, etc.

Society wishes to limit who may, or may not be permitted to enter into “marriage” as … what? … a religious sacrament? No. Society’s restrictions target the civil component. So on one hand, society says its okay for us to choose who we live with, who we share our lives with, what arrangement of “family” we may wish to make. This can be done, gay or straight. Yet when one wants to look at the law to help untangle the legal issues associated with these familial bonds, society says “we’re only going to help out those who are straight” by restricting who may enter into “marriage.”

Defining marriage as “one man and one woman” may seem an appropriate boundary for society to define. But in the process, defining marriage serves to re-define family, or at least re-defining the legal protections available to a family. And for what reason? What tangible benefit is provided by permitting one familial arrangement to enjoy legal protections by default, while denying the same legal protections to another familial arrangement—on the sole basis of the sex of the two individuals involved? What end does it serve to society as a whole? What good does it do for those involved in these “unworthy” relationships?

The answer is that banning same-sex marriages is little more than a fig leaf to disguise religious bigotry and homophobia. “Tradition” and religious mores are nothing but window dressing. Banning same-sex marriage permits bigots the opportunity to give voice to their impotent hatred of LGBT citizens. It provides a “them” at which to strike out.